The other day, I was chatting with my new friend and co-conspirator Susie Nam, and we burst out in laughter when I shared with her, "It's my deep sense of dissatisfaction that drives me forward" and Susie's response was something along the lines of "I've never heard a more Korean thing uttered in this way." Things are funny because they often come from some core truth about ourselves or about our world. I am never quite satisfied with the way things are. And that's probably what makes me a change agent, striving for what could be better, how it could be different, etc.
I'm generalizing the connection to the cultural aspects of being Korean, of course, in the context of my own personal experience. And it's only further pronounced by the immigration experience I've discussed before. What I'm talking about here is the desire to be better tomorrow than today, desire to have made progress—be that in accomplishments, status, wealth, happiness, however you define the measure of progress—desire to matter, in generational terms. That desire to manifest the future that is different from the past is perhaps a better way to describe the forward momentum of dissatisfaction for what's here today.
Dissatisfaction (불만 in Korean) in and of itself gets a bad rap, because it can paint you as someone who only sees the world through the deficit. Dissatisfaction could also rob you of your ability to be present and enjoy what you've got today. Dissatisfaction might even project that you are someone who always wants more vs. less. All of this can be true, if you let dissatisfaction simply take over, and you lose the big picture as to why you are sitting with the feelings of dissatisfaction in the first place; and more importantly, what you're going to do about it.
This is the key to making sure you are in the driver's seat, and not the other way around. I'm the one with the agency over my ideas, actions, and feelings. Dissatisfaction is one of those feelings and a trigger that allows me to reflect and recognize the opportunity to be intentional. I pay attention to it as a piece of information and a signal. I use dissatisfaction as a driver, not a reason for me to stay unhappy or negative. It's a tool. It does not own me. Knowing what drives you is important, whether that comes from a sense of absence or abundance. But what's even more critical is your agency over it—what are you going to do with yours?